Hello, my name is Sasa. I really like dressing up in skirts, dresses, heels and sparkly tops, so you can say that I'm obsessed with fashion. I love books, computers and especially photography. I hate spiders, insects, things that slime/crawl and Ben Stiller films.
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I wonder how does it feel like to have your head to be the only visible part of your body in a bathtub, while your dick or vagina is concealed by gore, dying into your skin with the vermillion color of blood, your blood. When will you be given the opportunity to foster someone to jump from a skyscraper, a tall building, or the balcony of your very own abode. Would it even be remotely possible to bludgeon someone's face 'til beyond recognition? Of course it's possible.
Life, people, what a fucking douche. I finished watching the Dexter series this morning at precisely 3.52am, it's still intriguing even though it may seem unappealing now without the constant manslaughter.
There was this scene where Dexter, the protagonist hence the name of the series is entitled Dexter - he was staring at mirrors, pristine, reflective mirrors. An object made out of glass, hung onto the walls of your bathroom, living rooms, bed rooms; almost anywhere, everywhere, one of the world's most well-known knickknacks. And people stare vainly into it everyday in the morning, in the afternoon, evening and night.
Have you ever, cogitate about who you really are when you gaze at yourself in that fucking mirror? No I don't mean it by when you're squeezing that lethargically fat stomach of yours or vainly applying cosmetics. Dexter, and dead, Harry who always seemed to be filling the room with glow, heaven thing I guess - was there reflecting on himself, Dexter; he sees himself as a father of three, a husband of a beautiful wife, a blood spatter analyst working for the homicide police department, and a murderer.
Well, I'm not much of a mirror person, moreover narcissism isn't me judging I cut my own flesh, some sort of altruist and I occasionally have jitters for mirrors, bad analogy. Hmmmm, in this one episode, it really moved me. As well remarks from a very, very good friend of mine - Benjamin, I always enjoy calling him that, my reflection. You know who you are if you're happen to be reading this; masks, fucking masks.
Who are you wearing as, today?
Everyday, it almost did seemed like everyday - no, definitely every single fucking day. We, or at least most of us selects a smorgasbord of masks, hidden in our drawers, under our beds, or even expansively right out in the open hanging right next to your cupboard. I like to see myself that, living everyday with masks.
I see people and truthfully, myself with masks every fucking day to meet and see the world. People lie, they lie about their lies and they lie about their lies about their lies and it just goes on. I could be lying now, I could be lying about I lied, who's to know? That's why they're called lies.
I have my own masks too, what are yours?
Don't fucking lie to me, well since I'm not telling you how many masks I have hidden from sunlight, I guess it's fair if you decide not to share. Every single day we prepare different masks to face those who are somehow brave enough, or stupid enough to not wear their masks out there, act differently among different people just to shut their fucking trap - acceptance and approval as well, it's what we mask-wearers do.
Not everyone understands one's labyrinthian mind. We pretend, people pretend, you pretend, I pretend. It sicks, fear of abandonment and not wanted to ostracized, we fake. Pretend again, fake here and there such as…
Someone's cooking, delicious, yes? "No, it tastes like burned rubber yet I gotta swallow." Being forced to watch pornography, you don't enjoy it at all yet, giving your friends the satisfaction with grins and comments. Your joke wasn't near funny, it's lame. Was dared to do something appalling, you did it anyway in order to be accepted yes, made some people evilly happy, but some disturbed and hurt.
It slips, too...
But it does get tired sometimes, excruciating and fatigue. It's not all fun and games signing up to be a minted pretender, a faker. Natch, you have be really good at it, unless the people around you never actually noticed there's a huge ugly mask or a paper with a drawn smile on your face. Hey you can't deal with everybody out there, some women just had to get fucked, spend ten months or less of labor giving birth to a pack of cocksucking rats.
Ahhhh, and for the record, just because your mother gave birth to you does not automatically or necessarily means she knows everything about you, when they go "I'm your mother, I know everything," bullshit!
I'm not the reticent type, it's just sometimes, you really gotta be wise, something I kinda discovered from Benjamin lately… Know who you can really trust, I do that by first testing them with a few, lies. Some may seem lies, but true - depends on how you're going to review them after whoever you are are done reading this entry. There comes a time you can't even trust yourself with someone and-or-with something, that's how sexual abuse and harassment eventually led to murder happens.
It wouldn't be just another wonderland
We're people, most of us are just the same but never compare yourself to psychotic killers and celebrities, and don't see yourself as a special faggot. A fair reminder, if there is one thing, don't ever tell me you're "the only one.." because I will fuck you up. Like, you're the only one with an abusive mother, an alcoholic father, a slutty sister, retard brother, assholes of friends, thought of suicidal, smoked when young, intentions of running away from home, fucked your partner by accident, drugs, raped, molested, kidnaped…
Ohhh whatever this list will never end - shut your trap, there are thousands, millions of people out there with these aggravation and has suffered or still suffering more, lost more and hurt more. I own a mask of sympathy, but that doesn't mean I have to adjust it perfectly, sometimes it just, slips, intentionally - and reveals the person underneath.
Keep your own fairytale to yourself
Benjamin mentioned something about humans too, people, yet again. Another friend, out there thinks that he's a big influence on me now, deleteriously speaking - then again perhaps I'm just easily influenced by things I've been indoctrinated since the day I see how the world can be so dark, sometimes.
And I agreed to every word, cynically speaking. There could be small boners and flat hooters reading this blasphemous blog, maybe when you're at a suitable age of curiosity, come back to me and you will know the truth about this dark world overwhelmed nebulously with charlatanism and lies.
Wouldn't want to ruin your fantasy of fairytales and your glamorous paragons, no boogeymen there. I have the guts to fill a room with vulgarity, irregardless whoever is in the room, I was born with vulgarity. But destroying idealistic hopes and dreams of, especially naive, innocent children isn't anywhere near my fucked up life. Then again, results maybe vary.
Nevermore :/
People rate, too, we live in a world with judgmental bastards and bitches too, it's normal to make evaluations from people's appearance, lifestyle, personality, etc. I've witness ugly… Ermm, ugly is such a strong word not to mention harsh; unattractive! Yes, I've witness unattractive people trying to get attention, they fail, or as you dimwits like to say - epic failure. Annoying shits, sometimes I wonder do they really know the definition of epic or they're just saying it.
Well anyway, if you're doing it - the rating, judging part I mean. Then, you're only human, there won't be guilts. I'm currently doing it, I'm human. But it has hurt many. I have some sense of sentimentality, that's when I adjust my mask of sympathy perfectly still on my face. People deserve respect, how they look externally doesn't occasionally matters but the beauty within, the warmth the heart.
Not that I don't, but why do people judge or rate others? Especially to those who doesn't actually wanted to be chosen as a victim, or moreover enjoy doing it. I'm sure no one likes to be judged or rated, it's kinda like nagging, pure negativity and it makes you wanna decapitate the nagger, hot irons and boiled kettles scorches people.
They say balloons are hopeful objects
My little insignificant point here, is to not, or at least try to keep our own personal opinion to ourselves, then again it wouldn't be human if we knew how to shut up and not gossip or spread rumors. Try to barricade those judgmental utterance(s) coming out from your mouth, extolling is what people preferably desire from our sharp tongues.
I came across to this short scene of a drama, sitcom, movie whatever when I was flipping channels, couldn't decide what to watch as always. Them scriptwriters & director of that show, love you if only people actually learn from it.
This girl, she's loyal and unselfishly kindhearted - to friends, family and or strangers. Then one day, she got fired, boyfriend left her for her best friend and she found out she was adopted hours after the two incident mentioned, all because she was fat and unattractive. Kinda reminds me of the Korean movie; 200 Pounds Beauty, possesses a mellifluous voice, and sweet, but judged and rated as "unattractive" already because she was obese until she gave herself a full-body makeover, plastic surgery.
She looked attractive enough actually, adorable too!
Everybody sees the world differently, this is just my own personal opinion, you don't have to accept it, take it as an insult or prejudge "hey, this scumbag is simply nonsensical, stupid!" You like to see your world with rainbows and butterflies, well I like to see mine with skeletons and bloods. Ignore me, personal judgement.
the name's anish saufa bt amir hafidz. i'm not a eurasian,but i'm a chinese mix malay girl... yeaaaaah! :D and i'm from johore,where all the great talents come from. :P if you want to get to know me better,do not hesitate to add me at facebook.. sasa_sisi91@yahoo.com. because i bukan jenis yg sombong. :) so till then,just enjoy your life just the way it is. no one said life's gonna be perfect. =)
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I wonder how does it feel like to have your head to be the only visible part of your body in a bathtub, while your dick or vagina is concealed by gore, dying into your skin with the vermillion color of blood, your blood. When will you be given the opportunity to foster someone to jump from a skyscraper, a tall building, or the balcony of your very own abode. Would it even be remotely possible to bludgeon someone's face 'til beyond recognition? Of course it's possible.
Life, people, what a fucking douche. I finished watching the Dexter series this morning at precisely 3.52am, it's still intriguing even though it may seem unappealing now without the constant manslaughter.
There was this scene where Dexter, the protagonist hence the name of the series is entitled Dexter - he was staring at mirrors, pristine, reflective mirrors. An object made out of glass, hung onto the walls of your bathroom, living rooms, bed rooms; almost anywhere, everywhere, one of the world's most well-known knickknacks. And people stare vainly into it everyday in the morning, in the afternoon, evening and night.
Have you ever, cogitate about who you really are when you gaze at yourself in that fucking mirror? No I don't mean it by when you're squeezing that lethargically fat stomach of yours or vainly applying cosmetics. Dexter, and dead, Harry who always seemed to be filling the room with glow, heaven thing I guess - was there reflecting on himself, Dexter; he sees himself as a father of three, a husband of a beautiful wife, a blood spatter analyst working for the homicide police department, and a murderer.
Well, I'm not much of a mirror person, moreover narcissism isn't me judging I cut my own flesh, some sort of altruist and I occasionally have jitters for mirrors, bad analogy. Hmmmm, in this one episode, it really moved me. As well remarks from a very, very good friend of mine - Benjamin, I always enjoy calling him that, my reflection. You know who you are if you're happen to be reading this; masks, fucking masks.
Who are you wearing as, today?
Everyday, it almost did seemed like everyday - no, definitely every single fucking day. We, or at least most of us selects a smorgasbord of masks, hidden in our drawers, under our beds, or even expansively right out in the open hanging right next to your cupboard. I like to see myself that, living everyday with masks.
I see people and truthfully, myself with masks every fucking day to meet and see the world. People lie, they lie about their lies and they lie about their lies about their lies and it just goes on. I could be lying now, I could be lying about I lied, who's to know? That's why they're called lies.
I have my own masks too, what are yours?
Don't fucking lie to me, well since I'm not telling you how many masks I have hidden from sunlight, I guess it's fair if you decide not to share. Every single day we prepare different masks to face those who are somehow brave enough, or stupid enough to not wear their masks out there, act differently among different people just to shut their fucking trap - acceptance and approval as well, it's what we mask-wearers do.
Not everyone understands one's labyrinthian mind. We pretend, people pretend, you pretend, I pretend. It sicks, fear of abandonment and not wanted to ostracized, we fake. Pretend again, fake here and there such as…
Someone's cooking, delicious, yes? "No, it tastes like burned rubber yet I gotta swallow." Being forced to watch pornography, you don't enjoy it at all yet, giving your friends the satisfaction with grins and comments. Your joke wasn't near funny, it's lame. Was dared to do something appalling, you did it anyway in order to be accepted yes, made some people evilly happy, but some disturbed and hurt.
It slips, too...
But it does get tired sometimes, excruciating and fatigue. It's not all fun and games signing up to be a minted pretender, a faker. Natch, you have be really good at it, unless the people around you never actually noticed there's a huge ugly mask or a paper with a drawn smile on your face. Hey you can't deal with everybody out there, some women just had to get fucked, spend ten months or less of labor giving birth to a pack of cocksucking rats.
Ahhhh, and for the record, just because your mother gave birth to you does not automatically or necessarily means she knows everything about you, when they go "I'm your mother, I know everything," bullshit!
I'm not the reticent type, it's just sometimes, you really gotta be wise, something I kinda discovered from Benjamin lately… Know who you can really trust, I do that by first testing them with a few, lies. Some may seem lies, but true - depends on how you're going to review them after whoever you are are done reading this entry. There comes a time you can't even trust yourself with someone and-or-with something, that's how sexual abuse and harassment eventually led to murder happens.
It wouldn't be just another wonderland
We're people, most of us are just the same but never compare yourself to psychotic killers and celebrities, and don't see yourself as a special faggot. A fair reminder, if there is one thing, don't ever tell me you're "the only one.." because I will fuck you up. Like, you're the only one with an abusive mother, an alcoholic father, a slutty sister, retard brother, assholes of friends, thought of suicidal, smoked when young, intentions of running away from home, fucked your partner by accident, drugs, raped, molested, kidnaped…
Ohhh whatever this list will never end - shut your trap, there are thousands, millions of people out there with these aggravation and has suffered or still suffering more, lost more and hurt more. I own a mask of sympathy, but that doesn't mean I have to adjust it perfectly, sometimes it just, slips, intentionally - and reveals the person underneath.
Keep your own fairytale to yourself
Benjamin mentioned something about humans too, people, yet again. Another friend, out there thinks that he's a big influence on me now, deleteriously speaking - then again perhaps I'm just easily influenced by things I've been indoctrinated since the day I see how the world can be so dark, sometimes.
And I agreed to every word, cynically speaking. There could be small boners and flat hooters reading this blasphemous blog, maybe when you're at a suitable age of curiosity, come back to me and you will know the truth about this dark world overwhelmed nebulously with charlatanism and lies.
Wouldn't want to ruin your fantasy of fairytales and your glamorous paragons, no boogeymen there. I have the guts to fill a room with vulgarity, irregardless whoever is in the room, I was born with vulgarity. But destroying idealistic hopes and dreams of, especially naive, innocent children isn't anywhere near my fucked up life. Then again, results maybe vary.
Nevermore :/
People rate, too, we live in a world with judgmental bastards and bitches too, it's normal to make evaluations from people's appearance, lifestyle, personality, etc. I've witness ugly… Ermm, ugly is such a strong word not to mention harsh; unattractive! Yes, I've witness unattractive people trying to get attention, they fail, or as you dimwits like to say - epic failure. Annoying shits, sometimes I wonder do they really know the definition of epic or they're just saying it.
Well anyway, if you're doing it - the rating, judging part I mean. Then, you're only human, there won't be guilts. I'm currently doing it, I'm human. But it has hurt many. I have some sense of sentimentality, that's when I adjust my mask of sympathy perfectly still on my face. People deserve respect, how they look externally doesn't occasionally matters but the beauty within, the warmth the heart.
Not that I don't, but why do people judge or rate others? Especially to those who doesn't actually wanted to be chosen as a victim, or moreover enjoy doing it. I'm sure no one likes to be judged or rated, it's kinda like nagging, pure negativity and it makes you wanna decapitate the nagger, hot irons and boiled kettles scorches people.
They say balloons are hopeful objects
My little insignificant point here, is to not, or at least try to keep our own personal opinion to ourselves, then again it wouldn't be human if we knew how to shut up and not gossip or spread rumors. Try to barricade those judgmental utterance(s) coming out from your mouth, extolling is what people preferably desire from our sharp tongues.
I came across to this short scene of a drama, sitcom, movie whatever when I was flipping channels, couldn't decide what to watch as always. Them scriptwriters & director of that show, love you if only people actually learn from it.
This girl, she's loyal and unselfishly kindhearted - to friends, family and or strangers. Then one day, she got fired, boyfriend left her for her best friend and she found out she was adopted hours after the two incident mentioned, all because she was fat and unattractive. Kinda reminds me of the Korean movie; 200 Pounds Beauty, possesses a mellifluous voice, and sweet, but judged and rated as "unattractive" already because she was obese until she gave herself a full-body makeover, plastic surgery.
She looked attractive enough actually, adorable too!
Everybody sees the world differently, this is just my own personal opinion, you don't have to accept it, take it as an insult or prejudge "hey, this scumbag is simply nonsensical, stupid!" You like to see your world with rainbows and butterflies, well I like to see mine with skeletons and bloods. Ignore me, personal judgement.
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